1/6/2014

"You're not alone,I am here with you ,though you're far away,I am here to stay,that you're not alone ,I am here with you,though we're far apart,you're always in my heart,but you're not alone "
Michael Jackson's "You're not alone" is in my mind...

I am not alone~Ker Ryn,thanks for accompany me yesterday when I am in hard time ,although we're back together again at last :c you have more problems than me,and I keep giving you troubles..I know ,I am annoying :3 thank you for all your advices ,some does help me..your mind is actually mature ,but u looks like a kiddo.

Trisha ,hello my trishlicious xD  you sent me lots of smurfy song yesterday,but I want you to sing :3 the way you cheer up a people is funny...hehe..I didn't laugh yesterday :3 sorry la..I reply you slow..and thanks ^^

At last I listen to Wilson...he said he understands boys the most,he knew what Jeff thinks ,because he is like Jeff. ..errr...I've got nothing to say about this. ..I was shocked when I receive your message,you asked me what happened,and without asking me need help or not ,you went to chat with Jeff :3 everything has settled down with your help . You asked me not to say break up when I face problem,because this is like a coward. .this is true ..I will not do that again.

For Jeff,I am sorry. ..but I don't want a relationship that how me and egg used to be like anymore....finally I knew what is your reason...my fault la..i will try to understand you next time...sorry for hurting once again

First of June started with a happy mood ^^

Btw,mummy is going sunway with her friends. .haiz..I can't go ahma house dyy :( and I am not going to tuition tmr...so ker ryn ,don't need to find me in fruity dyy..mummy is busy and my cousin went to muar...transport problem again :3 I wanna drive on my own arhhh!!!

Bye :p Jeff went to badminton dyy ~~

June

The end of may started with I broke up with Jeff. Wilson said I made decision too quickly. ..I agreed half.

I am crying. ..very sadly...and I sang so loud in my room. ..tq for my annoying sister who sing with me and make me happy

I quickly wash my face before my parents come to my room,I was safe..

June,be good to me..night

Saturday

I woke at 10.00 am today. ..and I went down to find food without bathing.Oh,it's potato chips ♥.♥I ate the whole can of potato chips for my breakfast.

After bathing,I feel stomach ache all of the sudden. ..it's like dying. ..and you guys know what is it la xD I am suffering till 6 o'clock. ..4 hours of stomach ache, I survived after that xD

Went to wechat and check if there is any message...0 message. .hmm..nvm la,I don't care...hehe ,we didn't chat for hours dyy ,and you're the second ekvi now ^^I will give you one last chance,if I still haven't receive any message from you,sorry,we end here :)

You can say I break all my promises,but I don't wanna have a relationship like this anymore. .after going through once ,I hate this kind of relationship.

I blocked you at wechat xD I don't wanna see our old conversation anymore. .

Kay la,bye

Mid term result

Bm -64
Phy-65
Math-85
Add math-76

:( to be continue...

First day of holiday

My holiday started with 4 hours of chemistry tuition:33 but I don't feel any sleepiness because I slept at 10.20pm last night. ..my parents feel weird of me..I never sleep that early when I started to go secondary school. ..but they were happy that I sleep early. ..luckily they didn't ask me why I changed.

Morning I ate breakfast with my friends. ..we were happy chatting,I love eating breakfast outside with friends. .after tuition,we went to fruity for lunch too. ..^^

I slept again for 4 hours in the afternoon. .I am tired..don't know why..maybe I need to see a doctor.

Ok la,this is for my holiday

1500

Yay !! It is holiday now !! Woohoo ,I just finish watching Master Sun..the ending was so sweet. ..actually,I wish I can see ghost too...I can tell them my secrets,and they will keep them for me...

The sad part is,my result wasn't good for mid term...only physics is improved. ..puan aminah isn't fair...she doesn't like me I know,but I don't know why...why that when me and adrian making noise,she only scolded me ? Fine lo,I don't care. .I don't wish that any teacher will like me too...I love my primary school teachers,very much...they love me so much,they love to call me big eyes because in primary school,most of the Chinese have very small eyes,I looked special in that school. .they cared about me and they are all fair and square,unlike secondary school teacher. .I was regretted that I had made a wrong decision. .I should choose Hin Hua High School from the start.Chinese teacher are good..I hate those racist malay teacher that once asked us to balik China ,I hate those teacher that won't greet us back when we greet them,I hate those teacher who scold me when I did nothing wrong .

Ker Ryn likes puan yap a lot..for me,I don't...for me la,I think puan yap is little unfair too . When me and jo ying turn to the back and ask pei ting something,she only scolded me..she shouted my name and asked if I am too free ?What the hell,I am turning behind just to do correction. .I feel bosong and this make me hate smk bu more.

Kawaii mama has asked me a very weird question today..he said "zhi ern,I wanna ask you something for very long dyy "
Then I asked "what?"
He said "if your friend that u know suddenly propose to you,what is your reaction?"
I told him I will be shocked and then continue be friends with that guy..but if I like him too,I will accept his proposal.
He told me that he has his crush in form three,not form one..hmmm..but I still think that his crush is Yuke Hui? or Ker Ryn ?

I don't really feel happy in school today ,in this school,the only friend that I have is Ker ryn,no one else..But for ker ryn ,she has many friends ,sometimes I will be jealous when I see her with someone else..but everyone has their own friends right ?I will get use to that .

I typed this blog for 18 mins /.\ okay,typing blog is a way to make time flow faster...I can't sleep now because I wanna sleep at 10.30 pm today ..bye

1810

Ok la,I really have no mood now

See you replying other group but not my message,maybe I just mean nothing to you. .I don't mean to make u upset or what,I'm sorry to say this ...maybe I have no mood so I think like that..sorry. .I just want to pour everything out from my heart. .I know u are thinking that,if u are going to kem desafio ,u can share the happiness of winning with them...I'm sorry,I can't help you to go kem desafio :c

By the way ,jeff is back,haha...kay kay..enjoy watching Thomas cup la..

All social network is off now,see u guys tmr

Red velvet cake recipe

Red Velvet Cupcakes Recipe | Georgetown Cupcake |…: http://youtu.be/dJFVEWwtr7g

2255 blog

Mid term is finally over ! I haven't sleep nicely this 3 weeks. ..this is call study at the eleventh hour ,so tiring!I will start to study every night after the mid year holiday ! Fight for final exam...actually be with jeff is something good ,he motivates to study hard ,suddenly wanna stay at berlian after listening to my cousin sis ,berlian has all the best teachers among every classes..but berlian is stress and competitive ! I didn't do well for every subject ,there's too much thing to study ,so burning the midnight oil actually doesn't help at all .

Actually I have a good papa ,whenever he see me study ,he will say "don't study la ,give yourself so much stress for what ,no fail then okay dyy "..haha...compared to other parents,they will force their kid to study. .so actually I am very lucky :) but my mama wants me to get many A's as all my cousins from my mother side score all A and get scholarships to overseas studies.

Thanks mummy for this three weeks. You knew that I am studying hard for my exam ,and so u help me to do half of the household chores. .haha ,this make me feel touched ..this morning ,when sis told u her uniform wasn't iron ,I thought u will scold me when I told u I have no time ,but you replied me with "why didn't tell me,I will help u do ma" ..haha,this let me have a happy mood for the starting of the day..

After school,I am so tired that I couldn't wait for jeff ,whenever I am tired,I will be in bad mood ,I don't want to treat jeff with my bad mood look ,and so I went down first.

I saw ker ryn's blog ,many things happened to her after her maid left ..she have to do all the household chores alone ,and her bro who is so free everyday doesn't want to help her .I understand her situation as I have a sister like that too..only know how to mess up the house ,and left everything for me to do .But I am lucky that my dad and mum given me permission to scold my sister if she doesn't want to help me.

Mop the floor twice a day ?seriously ?! In my house,we only mop the floor once a week ,u know ,mopping is a tiring work ,and mopping once a week ,my house is already very clean. sorry ker ryn ,I can't help u with this ,what I can do is only listen to you ,hope I can be ur neighbour so that we can take turn to mop your house floor ,and u will have time to study :(

My mum seldom let me to mop floor as she knows the floor will be dirtier after I mop xD and she don't want my hand to be rough too..haha,so she did all the mopping job herself...

Ker ryn ,I am sorry that I can't stay back to accompany you everytime you stay back...being alone that feeling isn't nice. ..I am alone for 4 years ,hahaha ,I don't know how I survive till today ^^ but I cry everyday in that four years ,no one realise I'm crying ,even my family. .I told mum I have no friends ,she said u don't need to have friends,ur mummy when young time don't have any friends de ,friends will betray you , using you to get something ..ya ,I experienced all this ...

I don't believe in friends until I met ker ryn ,remember when form one ,she kicked my chair :3 so noisy xD and then soon we became best friends,till now. ..

Ok la,this post is too long ,will continue in my next post

#0106

Hmmm,ok ,so I'm here in the middle of the night. I force myself to sleep at 10 pm and I slept but now I am awake .

When I awake ,first thing I check is wechat. Wow,so many messages ,and two of them is from you.Do you know why I sleep ?because I have no mood at all ,I feel very sad. But the thing I sad isn't important thing for you guys..hahaha

Pei Ting posted many things ,and I guess she is saying me...she was happy when I told her I will try to ask my parent's permission,she hope for a yes,but I disappointed her .I feel bad of myself. .why that I can't make ppl happy .She need me so much,but what had I done ?

Second,my mummy has been weird this few days .hahahah ,she scolded me for no reason. Just now ,she called my name.And then I asked her anything?she just keep silent .And then she called my sister,"zi xin,come to my room ,I need help ,ur sis now very selfish ,she don't want to help me " .hey mum,I asked you if you need anything ,and you just gave me silent ,WHAT DO YOU WANT ?u said that zi xin will come to you even though she is with a unwilling heart . That's different! Because you added come to my room and need help after you calling her name ! When u call me ,u just tell me nothing ! And I am studying,u r so lazy that you let me do all the household. Didn't you know that I am having mid term ?! You just call me to do this do that ,I need to have my time too ! You keep playing games with ipad ,and left tonnes of household chores for me ,I am tired ,seriously tired. At least when I asked you anything,you should reply me you need help ! You said that when I call your name that means I want you to come to my room,what stupid reason is this ? so that means next time when I call you you must come to my room la ?

Third,Wilson has problem again . He didn't want to tell me..hahaha hahaha Ok,I am so disappointed of myself. No ppl willing to tell me their problem ,fail to be a listener. So I don't have to be you guy's friend anymore ,I am just useless for you guys.

Ok la,ker ryn ,hope you be okay .Goodbye.

Happy teacher's day

As usual,no one will attend this boring event .Luckily I got friends in prefect board ,this make me happy xD

In the morning,I go inside the school using the small gate ,and then I met kai chen ,he talk to me that no one attend the school ,and out of the sudden ,kent purposely walk in between me and kai chen and don't let us talk..haha

Then I walk away ,kent shout from behind,why you no ask my koko to come de ?I just smile and reply ,let jeff sleep xD

Kent and jacklyn is really sweet xD they come to school is just to see each other xD today prefect board got jualan ,and then we sell roses and chocolates with bear. I asked kent to buy one for jacklyn and he said don't want la ,those chocolates so cheap and not nice to eat xD and then kent took all the roses and give jacklyn. .haha..but at last he put them back as he is just playing xD

Jacklyn keep asking me for a selfie but I tell her nope:3  I am so ugly ,no way for selfie!! Then her friend say this is your future大嫂 ..haha

Kent said jeff don't wanna share the candies I gave him with his family ,he said that jeff says "ern give me de ,cannot give u all eat " hahaha...so touched T.T jeff arh ,share to ur family la ,I will give u new one xD

I talked a lot with kent and his gf today ,it is actually fun xD they r so sweet omg xD

Btw ,kar wai kisses ze yuan too xD

Ok,I am happy today,happy teacher's day xD

Macadamia nuts

Macadamia nuts is too yummy !! But it is expensive :c one day I'm gonna travel to Australia myself and buy more than 10 packets of macadamia nuts back !! And eat them by myself xD ahahaha

Btw ,my physics was awful :3 hahaha..essay part..I think I only get one mark for essay part :3 nvm..hope to get a C .

God bless me .

Nightmare

I cry to sleep again while chatting with jeff...I am enough of this life...I want to sleep normally with a smiley on my face,not tears

U said tht everything is a misunderstanding,u didn't meant to post all those stuff to hurt me ...so,what is your purpose when u posting them ?isn't that u wanna tell me smtg through those post ?and I get all ur meaning clearly. .crystal clear ...

All u want to is be with me ? Nooo,u gave up ...you let go our relationship ...with the pinky promise that u won't leave me,at last ,you did ...I am the only one who hold on to our pinky promises,I believe that u will never break all those pinky promises. ..and I won't believe in pinky promise anymore. ..not again...

This is the third time my heart was torn apart. ..and this time,it is more painful than last time that iwan betrayed me...I am shocked that I have fall so deep that I can't imagine...

I don't know who am I to you ,maybe I am just someone who will only bring u sadness,miserable life that makes u have to let go of ur happiness...

U feel happy and bless when u see me ?I don't think so...I never see any smiley face from u when u see me ,all I see is just a "no mood" face ...

Chicken listed me as na xie ren..oh...since u doesn't like me,then why r u supporting jeff from the start? And why r you complaining to me that jeff bully you?

After school,I saw jeff walking down from stairs,and I squad down and hide beside a car !! What am I doing this ?why am I hiding ? Let me tell you,I hide because I don't want to let you see me ,when u see me,u will feel sad agn right ?

U told Wilson we nvr break up ,but for me..when u changed ur wechat name,when u posted all those stuff at moment. .for me..all these considered as a sign of breaking up...Hehehe. .anyway. .I still won't give up on our relationship. ...

I will forgive everything that you did to me,but it isn't easy for me to recover..maybe I will used up one year....

I was sleeping soundly and then I suddenly remember of u gave up on me ! I awake and insomnia now...

I'm gonna end here ...the nightmare that u gave me these few days ,will forever remembered by me ...

Vampire's diary

I am back from school one hour ago..ok let me talk about smth sad that happened on me..

For the past two days ,I cried to sleep ...it is because of you ,YOU !!!

U have changed to be someone that I feel strange when u are together with me ...I am not someone that u can don't bother when u don't feel like chatting ,and find me when u feel boring. .I am a human!  U only find me on 10.30 pm ++ every night with the msg "goodnight,love u "

I don't know what should I reply. ..the changes inside you,makes me feel u will leave one day ,u make me feel u r tired of me...and then the next day is koko ,I am struggling the whole night ,I don't know should I stay back and eat with you,I don't know how to face you ,and then here I cry agn

Ker ryn,I am sorry for not bothering u in school,I don't wanna cry in school anymore,I should learn to hold back my tears ,but when I see u ,I can never act strong...

I kept talking to min rui about basketball boys all those stuff,and talked with kawaii mama,and then finally,I am success to tahan my tears till recess time ...I cried again when duty time,standing at the stairs...

After school,me,ryn ,chen and jeff went to ker ryn's home because she forgot to off her charger..ker ryn's wanted me to talk with jeff because he is alone. .I talked. ..but you just replied me oh ,huh ...I just got ntg to talk to you,did u know how suffer am I when I trying to smile to you ,speak to you ? I kept thinking tht zeyuan fell on the floor,only this makes me continue laughing. ..

When grace tay class,although I am extremely exhausted,but I am still awake because whenever I think abt what u did to me ,my heart is like knife cutting me here and there ,painful

U once post a status "ur happiness is not because u r happy ,it is because I let go of my happiness to make u happy " ...izit ? Yuan lai everytime when u r with me,u never feel happy ...sorry for bringing u a miserable life ,I know I am useless ,so ,u r sad for three months dyy ?

Ok,I'm only going to post till here...I am crying agn,It's time to have bath and cry inside,bye :)