Diary 0104

Ermm,actually I am not happy today until a cute boy makes me laugh hahahahahaha.I don't know why today Jeff is a little bit of crazy and way too sticky xD but I love this sot sot Jeff hahahahaha isn't he cute ?

Darren had been requesting me for phone call and I've rejected him everytime :3 and now I ignored all his messages hahahahahaha ,I am sorry ,I won't phone call with u and I don't wanna get too close with you because you are boy and I don't want to make him jealous or sad okay .and please don't always say I am ur gf because I am not :3 I am he's!!! arghhhhh don't piss me off.

Jeff is going to Sunway next Friday.i am a little bit sad because I won't be able to chat with him for hours :3 but it's okay have fun c:

And seriously I don't want Ker Ryn to drop class !! I will miss u my crazy buddy :( no one will ever do crazy things with me in class anymore :3 our memories with the toy gun and shoot ourself pretending we are death makes puan goh angry and laugh hahahaha. And mostly we talked about our secret in class too.rmb we made scrapbook in class tgt,next year we won't be able to make it because our time isn't the same anymore :( and I don't want u get to close with zam friends because I will jealous :( but this is ur choice right ?haha

That's all for today.Goodnight world

27/12/14

It's the midnight again xD gonna try to sleep early next week because school gonna reopen soon :3 I am excited about next year but at the same time I feel sleepy hahahahaha xD it is SPM year !!!!! I am nervous because I really want to get scholarship to UK :(

Everything went better after Christmas. But maybe I still need some time to recover myself from that pain. I am still crying at night whenever I think about it. Hehe ,I will be okay :')

Awesome family is planning gathering to Sunway Piramid on 2/1/2015...I wish to go but since they want to take KTM so I am not allowed to go and Sunway is really too far :3

I am addicted to needle felting craft this few days xD I am really happy whenever all my aunts love what I made for them xD I love crafting !!!

Really have a nice day with u today xD Goodnight world xD

24/12/14

I will nvr forget this day,that u first time ever told me broke up after so many promises that u won't ever give up on me and let me go....well,I begged u to stay and u rejected me number of times and yet I am still begging....and then finally u promise don't break up....I don't know this day will happened....it broke my heart into pieces and I am shaking all the while when crying....is our relationship not strong enough yet so u let me go so easily....do u cherish our relationship ? No matter how serious we argue and no matter how many times u break ur promises I still stay there and never leave u because I know how hurt is heart breaking....and at the end I am the one who is heartbreaking.....just in that short time u can even chg ur insta pic (our couple photo) to ur own selfie.....

I said I hope u don't use the same sweet words as u told to ur exes on me because u know why?I am jealous,I really am.....yet u don't know I feel insecure with you and u told me break up....an wei me is really that tough job to you?is that difficult to make me happy jiu by smiling to me?is what I asked too over ?

Or the reason u told me break up because you are tired of me and u don't love me anymore?I don't know I really don't know....once upon a time I tot I will understand you....I don't expect this day will really come.....I am tired le....I put on so much effort saving our relationship again and again because u said u want it to be forever.....but u didn't try to save our relationship....

Do u know I take u as my family ?do u know that feeling when ur family leave you forever ?maybe I tot I am number one in ur heart so I beg for u to stay....seems like I am not number one for u.....

I am tired le....if one day I really die because of crying,I hope u will find a better one outside....zhu ni xing fu :')

2346

I actually enjoyed my holiday while many complaint holiday is boring. I wake up at 12 o'clock every afternoon hahahaha,and then do some household then play with my cold porcelain !!

It seems like everything I made is simple, but I used up nearly one hour for my one handmade product. I really put in my heart to make this because I am thinking to sell them online to earn some money. I am doing survey of how ppl sell their handmade product and where there usually sell. And then I found one website Etsy .Every handmade product they sell is like RM 30 each. And the charm size they made is almost same as mine. Yea,I can earn a lot of money.But when it comes to payment I don't have a Paypal account or smtg to let ppl bank in. This is the only problem I faced. To sell my handmade things or not?I need people's suggestions.

Goodnight world,gonna sleep if not he will be sad /.\

Hey Blog

Nearly one month that I didn't write blog...I am sorry ,I know u miss me right?hahahaha ,so I am here for u now !!! XD

This few days was awful :3 I am really not happy....

And thanks daddy for buying me many things just because I love to make keychain by myself !!

Bye blog ,don't miss me :*

邱宗哲

每次心情低落的时候,想一想你心情就会变好,那个时候的我们最快乐又单纯。

记得那时我喜欢的是鹏峰,而你喜欢我,我对你不感兴趣,你却一直来吵我。直到有一天,我喜欢上你了。哈哈

你是巡察员,我也是。。不过我们值勤的天不同,我是一三五,你是二四。。。每次二四的时候,我就要回班当值日生,而你站岗的位置就是我班那一栋楼的楼梯 哈哈哈 那时我还不认识你,你却一直作弄我,到最后,我才知道你喜欢我 :3  我给你看我值日生卡,你却不让我上楼,我把你推开,我跑上去,你就追着我,然后我们一整个下课都在追逐。。哈哈哈哈

如果我下课不用你的楼梯回班,你就会到处找我,然后你发觉我用另一个楼梯上楼时,你就会跟在那里值勤的学长换岗位。

我们在同一所安亲班,那里可以学扯铃,那时教练要每一个senior 教新学员,你选择教我,不过我一直跑开,还很坏的用扯铃棒轻轻敲你的手 :x  我很感谢你很有耐心的教我,尤其是调铃。。。

我在安亲班被人欺负 孤立的时候,你会跟我讲讲话 然后向老师说她们又欺负我了。。

有一次你跟鹏峰讲安亲班的坏话,被院长发现了,她骂了你们,还不给你们留在安亲班。。。你和鹏峰都不肯道歉 ,后来鹏峰就不来安亲班了,而你还想留,不过就是死死不道歉,所有人劝你道歉,你不听他们,他们就跑来叫我,我劝你后 你就去道歉了 我还记得你看着我的眼神 还有院长接受你道歉后你对我笑的那个笑容

儿童节那天,我在安亲班无缘无故被老师送了一个青蛙布满,而且很奇怪的是,所有人都没有 偏偏就只有我拿到礼物 后来才知道 是你托老师送的 因为你知道我不会收你的礼物 不过里面你写给我的那封情信已经被你拿掉了 我好想读你写给我的东西啊

我的纪念册,我给别人写的时候, 你偷偷拿去写了 ,我知道后,把你写的那面粘起来,我后悔了:(

还记得以前学长团一定会合照, 不过一个年级一个年级拍 很不幸 你大我一岁,所以不能一起拍 不过我还是把有你的那张照片买起来 有一天那张照片被我爸爸发现了,我快点用红笔把你的脸画掉 ,想起来我很笨

在运动会的时候 我戴着帽子 你把我的帽子拿掉 放在了自己的头上 哈哈哈哈 你真可爱 

我们的回忆有太多太多  虽然我们没有在一起 不过我把你当我的初恋了 我真的很想念你 再也没有人能够给我你给我的快乐

晚安 我希望我们有缘可以再见一次面

0022

It is a sad night again after he told me he is going to school the next day.

I don't know why ,when I know he going somewhere else without me I will feel sad all in the sudden .Maybe I shouldn't be clingy.

Okay,goodnight.

Diary 1621

Today is a happy day ~

Actually me and Jeff had an argument yesterday because he doesn't like to tell me things :( I am sad ,so I don't wanna bother him ,but then I feel guilty because he treat me so good :(

He had a headache and I only know before he sleep .How I wish I can be by his side and help him massage. Take care la my cute Jeff :(

Jacklyn sent me many screen shot of her conversation with Kent ,it was really sweet but then things end up like that . I don't want this happen to me and Jeff :3
Jeff is going to Penang by Friday ,and I surely will miss him because he will not be able to aaccompany me in tuition :(  I will wait u to come back !!

Happy Holiday Teehee

Diary 2350

I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Seeing many people break up make me doubt ...Is there any love out there ?I have no idea...

Perhaps I am really fail ,I can't help Jacklyn to build back her relationship. They were really sweet ,sometimes I really jealous about their love life. Who knows things end like this...makes me have no confident for my love life...

I know people change and eventually they will leave you.They are just being there to teach you a lesson.And then you grow up ,this is growing pain. But I just can't accept people leaving me , as I really love them .

My dream was grow old with Jeff...but after our fight again and again ,mostly caused by me ,my dream was gone piece by piece. And when he said :"who knows maybe we will end our relationship because of a big problem " I don't want this day to come...

And I baked pineapple tart today ,this is the worst batch ever because we bought the wrong pineapple jam which taste awful...I am really sad to see my hardwork just gone like this .After this batch finish ,I'm gonna throw away this pineapple jam :3

Today is a sad day again.Haiz

Depression

When life is suck ,you should be tough.But I am tired to be a tough person. Everything is just messing up with me. When actually I finally find a way to solve my transport problem ,teacher change the time again and make my timetable messy. How I wish I have a genius brain and don't have to go tuition.By next year ,I will be the only one who stay for Ms Linda tuition among all my friends. Tuition alone won't be a big deal for me ,right ?

When I try to study ,my brain is like swollen and I almost faint. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! arghhhhhhhhhhhhh ,I am stress ,and I need to see a doctor,or go to mental problem hospital ...LIFE IS SUCKS

Insomnia?

Having insomnia in the previous days because some problems had happened to me,and then went to school yesterday with a moody feeling... and I am very exhausted in school yesterday but I just couldn't sleep.

Ming Huey came and asked what's wrong with me ,I keep say nothing ,but then after everyone asked me ,I tell them all ..and then only I realised ,actually I have a better life compared to others.

Xue Min and Yi Xuan don't chat with their boyfriend after school , they only chat at night ,I should feel happy that I get to chat with Jeff after school till we both sleep. And many others ,actually I should appreciate what I have now c:  I am always sad with those small matter ,but now I won't anymore

Thanks ker ryn for helping me to find transport to tuition yesterday ,if there weren't you ,I will be alone this Saturday.  Thanks Ming Huey for fetching me ,even though it's not convenient for her dad actually. I am really happy

Slept early yesterday after all my problems solve ,feel released and sleep with peace ~ I love all of you!!

P/s Jeff cooked for me !!! It will be the nicest food in the world for me xD Yummm ,first time I eat so slow because I am she bu de to finish the fried rice ~thanks for waking up so early just to cook :/ a nice day in school wee

17/9/14

Almost13 hours of tuition today. First of all ,thanks mummy who fetched me and bought food for me. Mummy didn't scold me when I suddenly asked her to fetch jojo and her friend. Hehe..thanks for helping me to do all household when I am busy tuition ,and give me lots of time to rest.

Secondly ,thanks ker ryn ,shin yi and yuke hui for accompanied me to eat in Shanmuga .I know actually u guys wanna go to eat pan mee. BUT,I feel geli when I know they wanna eat there because for me the food is really not nice. Thanks !!!

Goodnight

Sambutan Hari Kemerdekaan

This is boring compared to my primary school :3 because in secondary school , they only give speech and can't play with flag :3 quite lucky tht I am a prefect who needs to duty outside the hall xD it is nicer and funnier.

After duty ,I feel exhausted and have no energy at all due to my hunger since Thursday night. And I was planning to buy hot noodles in the canteen to eat. On the way back to the class ,Ban Rong called me. I was shocked because I didn't even know him xD then he said " here is your two packs of nasi lemak " I was happy because this food save me and then he actually remember me and ker ryn's order xD the nasi lemak is too yummy that ker ryn keep singing sambal song. I feel that all my craziness is from her xD hahahaha

I was quite sad in the morning because lychee kicked my neck and a gang of girls call prefect a dog. Well ,girls ,God will punish you :D

That's all for Friday xD thank you nasi lemak surppp

Diary 22/8

Acara akhir padang today !!and I am finally in the list of tarik tali. We won the match !! Looking forward to the Hari Sukan.

Today is quite a nice day ,Jeff came to school for me when he know I am going to take part in tarik tali.And we see each other for almost a day xD Being with him is very happy .Nowadays ,I will only tell him my secret and he will makes me happy when I am down.

No regret of running away just to see him play diabolo ,he is really good !!! XD

We sit with each other in every tuition class now xD and I love to sit with him ,he will teach me everything that I don't understand ,and he has a good patience.
We hold hand again.And this time isn't being forced,so I feel blissful and happy xD wee

Love you my baby panda xD I am so excited for this Sunday,we can spend time together again. I am sorry that I couldn't accompany you during the replacement class in holiday ,my papa asked me to skip tuition classes:( I wanna be with you too ,I am sorry. Muackkz

Ugly nose

I am having a very ugly nose now. Thanks to my itchy hand :3

Grrrrr ,regret to press my nose so hard just to clean the pore. But seeing those white thingy coming out from my nose makes me feel clean ..but...because of my nails ,I scratched my nose again T.T

Guess I don't really suit to use those moisturiser on my face .whenever I used them ,I will regret.those moisturiser is blocking my face from breathing ,and causes many pop up on my face.maybe next time when I grow up ,I can't even use those cosmetic .those things make my face itchy ..hahaha ,what a bad skin I have.

I am sad to have a nose like this now,I don't wanna go out anymore T.T so ugly ,like a clown :3

Happy Half Year.

Happy 6 months to me and Jeff!! Hahaha ,finally it is the day xD

In this 6 months ,we fight a lot ,and Jeff is the one who always tolerate me .He apologise even he isn't wrong at all. I am sorry :3 thanks for accepting my true self even though I am not a good person

Of course ,we have our sweet moment xD ahahaha ,this is secret :p receiving your messages everyday makes me smile all the time .When we fighting ,but I still feel happy to receive your msg .

I am curious that why are you asking me to sit with you in tuition this whole week :3  but I must admit ,sitting with you makes me happy . I still rmb when Grace Tay class ,  teacher is giving everyone new notes ,and when the notes reach your hand ,u gave me the nicely stapled one and u took the ugly one. And we fight for the ugly one ,haha ,but I won in the end xD

I am sorry that when u are shivering yesterday but I couldn't help you .I feel a bit xin tong . We started to talk a lot this feel days.And hor ,please don't turn your head when I am looking at you la ,I feel shy,ahahaha .

I love you my baby panda ,papa ,mama ,pig and jeff jeff xD hope we can really make our dream come true. Happy 6 months,muackkz

Unlucky day

Name being call when perhimpunan , and I am curious why they call my name .And then they ask us to sit on the floor ,then only I know I kena amaran..zzz puan goh ,I did ask ur permission before I go out ,give me amaran for what ?and adrian and kai jie who didn't ask ur permission and run out from class ,u didn't give them amaran. You are so unfair :3 btw ,I don't care la ~ I did nothing wrong and I didn't ponteng class. But ,I won't do your homework anymore ,u make me hate u ><

Haha ,first time in my life I ever get amaran .This is ridiculous because I did nothing wrong . Zzz,another teacher that I hate now ,ahahaha.bye.

Post Title

If one day I change my blog link ,I still will tell you my new blog link. Because here used to be our secret base ,and in the future too. My blog ,that only belongs to both of us . This will remain ,HAHA .  :D

Lol

Whatever you say,I am giving up on us .You just can't see yourself clearly. You don't know how u become now. You don't know what ppl saying about you outside which I know. Whatever la ,this is what happen when ur best friend has new gang of friends .

let it be. Let this friendship become like this ba. I won't tell you what ppl comment about you outside,if u want to know ,ask urself ba.

I am not avoiding my problems ,I will still go with jeff. This is your problem now ,you are avoiding sk ,not me.If you don't wanna go then do whatever you want la. Fan zhen u always follow what ur new friends do ,and leave me aside .in the class also u won't talk if I don't find you ,and after school or recess you will only find your new friends. I am tired .

Look at urself also ,and ur new friends will never tell you what ppl outside comment about you because they don't know. That's what I wanna tell ,bye.

Feel Peace

After I am okay with Jeff,I felt happy and peace...no one can give me those happiness that he give me...when he leave me this few days ,what I felt was empty. ..like some part of me is missing...I am sorry to say this,but this is true...

Wilson is finally sweet with chu again..and he doesn't has time for me anymore ,who wants to care you when they are with their love one ? Ok la ,being a light bulb isn't good too..stay sweet.

For friendship,I have to say ,I feel that I have distance with all my friends excluding ker ryn. The one who care about me is only Ker Ryn too....the distance I get between me and Trisha is getting further ,and she seems happier when I am not around..,this is just what I feel

Okay la ,just to update my status here..I am good c:

Lol

You're not me ,so don't think I didn't try to do something. You're not me ,u won't understand my feelings if someone rejected me. You are a brave girl who will ask and tell ur parents about something ,I am not ! You don't understand my parents. Let me tell you,if I asked ,the answer will still be a NO. And RM40 isn't cheap okay ,I am not rich like you.

About the spbt one,the teacher is in class ,and u walk from back door and ponteng ,do u think u r respecting that teacher ? Maybe last time I did this to teacher too ,but now ,no more.
After the parents day ,I wanna change myself. So that no one will complain me again.like today ,ponteng bio and almost kena e discipline. Do u think this is nice ? I don't want to make the prefect board kena complain because of me anymore.i am a prefect and I should do good things.

I waited u at the stairs for 5 mins ,but u just gone.so I went away and u said me disappeared. lol ,kay la ,my fault. I am sorry okay ? Maybe u don't like me anymore ,but I just wanna tell u ,I never dump you.

Dora The Explorer

And first ,let me tell you about the feeling of the starting of the day.I am happy with my hair and so I went to school with a happy mood. When I stopped by the bilik pengawas ,everyone saw my hair :3 and the girls were shouting "you are so cute".

And so ,the sad feeling started here.i wanted to be handsome :( and ppl says I look like a kid ,hahaha ,thanks guy for calling me cute ..but I really don't like it

I think the mind of girls and boys are different. For example ,my dad said my hair looks weird ,but my mum said nice. .in school ,the boys also say I look weird ,but the girls say cute .so ,as you can see ,boys and girls are different!! Ahahah ,okay ,this is crap.

Met jeff's dad and his sister and his maid at fruity. And at first I tot the maid is his mum as I only see by shadow. Ermm..this was awkward ,his dad and sis take ker ryn as me ,hahaha xD his sis is cute ,and I love his sis's hair..omg ,her hair is in brown and look so smooth . His dad look fierce ,I am scared ,so I didn't wanna look to the other side but keep looking at the door. Today is his mum birthday ,happy birthday auntie.

Many people said I look like dora the Explorer which make me sad :( I don't wanna be a cartoon ,this feeling isn't good ,hurts me a little actually.

Ermm..kay la, hair pls grow longer..I wanna be mature

*p/s I told my mum that logen said I looks like ker ryn's mum ,my mum said logen's eyes got problem and she said I look younger than Ker Ryn xD weee ,I love you mama

Nightmare

Yesterday night I slept early as I wasn't feeling well...stomach pain like hell :3 and then in the midnight,I woke up because of what I dreamt.

Let u tell u about my dream. I was dreaming that one day in a cafe ,me ,hippo,fat pig and fat bear were together. ..and then they three talk something but don't wanna let me know..and when I ask fat pig something ,she asked me to shut up. .then I can't tahan anymore..I shouted and fat pig "enough,I know you three has another group conversation that I am not inside ,I know you guys always talk bad about me ,how can u treat me like that ?"

Then fat pig answered me "because I bosong you for sometimes dyy,since today u say this ,I'm gonna tell you,I hate you" And then I cried and slap fat pig :3 and she just went to sit another table..fatbear and hippo followed her and left me alone..I am crying in my dream because I rmb that hippo said I am her second best friend but now fatpig has taken over my place..and I am crying till I don't know actually I am crying in REAL LIFE.

I quickly open my eyes and I was scared...and then I wiped my tears and sleep again. .the same dream goes on...and now I am in a place with many foreigners worker...so dangerous. Every day I walk around that place and think of what fatpig did to me. .why she hate me ? And then I met a boss of a restaurant. .he asked me to be careful because his worker is very dangerous. .

And then my stomach pain again. .I woke up and couldn't continue my sleep for 2 hours. .walao eh..cold water makes me die :3 grrr ....

And this is a weird dream..fatpig ,don't say me sot :(

Report card day ~

Went to school with a happy mood...tot that puan goh wouldn't tell my mum anything of me...out of my expectation,she told my mum I didn't hand in homework sometimes. And she told my mum that I am quite playful but I know how to control myself. ..my mum won't angry because I am playful , she always know that I am naughty. .but,I think she is quite angry with the homework thing because I always tell her I have no homework. Actually I did hand in my homework. .mummy,I can let u check. .my book is complete! Just that teacher didn't record again when I hand in late..zzz

Mum said I must be hard working next time..and then she didn't say anything else dyy. Puan Goh asked me not to get influence by boys ..huuuu ,luckily she told my mum that I know how to love myself by not get influence by boys.if nt I am death.

Ker ryn got scold by her mum. And I already predicted this :3 okay la ,I don't know how to help u . Whatever I did never let you felt better. Nowadays you always say only trisha and jie chen make you feel better..I know la, I am annoying. .

Actually I knew many things,I saw, I heard ...just that I keep inside my heart . don't ask me anything because I won't tell. Seriously,I must tell ,I haven't met someone that can let me laugh all the time ,someone that I can really talk to ,someone that can tahan my attitude.

Jeff ,today is the fourth day that I don't wanna reply u. I don't know how long time I'm gonna take to believe you again..although u sent me a long explanation. To be honest,I threw away that cake but nt shared with others. I brought four cupcakes ,one is for both of us..the other 3 is actually for ker ryn,but since she said she doesn't like fondant cake ,fine then..I can give others. And the hazelnut cake too...I told u the cake must be eaten cold ,and I told u before recess..what for finding me after school?ahahahaha

Ok la,I know everyone bosong me. Puan Yap too. I tell you,I hate ppl calling me my full name ! So puan yap,stop calling me Yew Zhi Ern...sorry for offended ker ryn,I just don't like teachers being unfair. When puan yap marked other ppl's previous exercises ,but she didn't mark mine ! All of them hand in late at the same time as me,but why only scold me ?and why only didn't mark mine ? And when other ppl request to go out ,why didn't you ask them to tell u "pls "?why only me ? Stop being an unfair teacher. .I hate this!

Ok la,government school teacher is really suck ! But u can't deny that some are good like puan lee ..the only teacher I love is puan lee .

That's all ,goodbye

23/6

Today isn't a happy day , but at first it was a happy day for me :) I am so happy that jeff said he will find me and we share one cake ,in the end ,he played inside the spbt room and forget what he had promise. .this isn't angry..or sad..this is just a disappointment that he can't even hold on to his promises and I am not even important.

At last ,I shared every fondant cake to my friend. .for the hazelnut cake ,I threw it to dustbin..u can say I waste food ,I just don't wanna eat something that brings me bad mood.

And when chemistry class,I accidently  fan bai yan to chicken rice :3 he was looking at me when I did that..I am sorry..I am not purposely one :c

Today isn't a happy day ,goodnight

11/6/14 Wednesday

Today is the first day Ker Ryn isn't here with me :3 She is going to Tanjung Sepat for her grandpa's funeral..so ,I will be alone for two days in tuition..I wonder how my tuition will be like ?will I laugh like crazy :(

By the way ,I will bring my moo moo along with me to Grace Tay's tuition,moo moo represents Ker Ryn ! And I am sitting with fat bear today ,hope I can make him smile as he is sad. I feel a bit scared to sit with him alone as he is too quiet :x so ,fat bear,u must make noise arhh xD

I haven't tell jeff that I will be sitting with jie chen today ,he didn't message me today because his house is under renovation and he can't connect to wifi :3  I miss him too

Ker ryn susan lim,faster come back arh ,u know I miss you T.T byee

23.54pm

It is almost midnight xD actually I am really tired but I force myself not to sleep.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night this few days,I don't know what's wrong with me..and I just couldn't fall asleep again until the next morning..
No matter how late I sleep,I still wake up in midnight :(

Today's mood isn't good at all,hahaha...I am not happy xD I chase jeff to sleep and I am alone now ,hehe ..it's ok to be alone since I already used to it for six years,wee

Haha,gonna continue dreaming about my future again ,lifeless ,really lifeless. .bye

My birthday

Wee,let me update my blog before I go to bath

I am so touched that even though I deactivated my Facebook,but there is still people who remember my birthday ,thank you guys T.T

I am making thank you card for my mum yesterday,she saw it this morning and she said that it was warm xD hehe..I success!!

When the clock strikes 12 ,many messages boom into my phone xD ker ryn ,Jeff ,trisha and Tharishinie ..hmm...muackkz. !!ker ryn typed a long msg for me at insta, I love that,u know ? XD I enjoy reading and and..I am really happy :c  Jeff sent me a video xD he played piano for me !! And he still remember everything before we couple..but I forgot everything dyy xD you gave me lots of present this year. .I hope you don't spend too much money anymore :( if you just give me a card,I will be very very happy. .I read your card for two hours ,I am seriously crazy ! Trisha,wee,you sent me lots of kisses ,and and..I am hoping this everytime!! Thanks arhh ♥.♥ Tharishinie,I can't believe that you will know my birthday :( and it's so surprised !I love you

More birthday wishes reach me after that..haha,erm ermm,I won't cry de :pp thanks arhh...infinity thanks to all of you !

Presents that my dear jeff gave me

3/6/14

Time flies :3 it's third of June now...okay...this holiday I've wasted all my time for drama T.T my study plan is failed again :3

I wanna tell my mum that I want crepe cake from coffee ink as my birthday cake..but but...it is too expensive :( I don't want her to use too much money on me...so,this year's cake will be fruity's cake again.

Ok,I am waiting for my mid term exam results to be update. .but teachers are failing me T.T I know this exam I'm gonna drop from heaven to hell..and parents gonna use "I will keep your phone " this line to me again.

I am quite worry about report card day...I wonder will teachers tell my mum that I couple with Jeff? I think yes,because most of the teacher bosong me...God bless me

Gonna do my chemistry chapter5 homework now...Ms Linda is upset when we didn't do her homework. ..and I want my Final Exam to be good!suddenly feel like staying in Berlian again...it's better for my future

But but..before I start doing anything. .let me finish my last two episodes of the moon that embraces the sun xD muackkz kim soo hyun ,I am coming!!bye guys

1/6/2014

"You're not alone,I am here with you ,though you're far away,I am here to stay,that you're not alone ,I am here with you,though we're far apart,you're always in my heart,but you're not alone "
Michael Jackson's "You're not alone" is in my mind...

I am not alone~Ker Ryn,thanks for accompany me yesterday when I am in hard time ,although we're back together again at last :c you have more problems than me,and I keep giving you troubles..I know ,I am annoying :3 thank you for all your advices ,some does help me..your mind is actually mature ,but u looks like a kiddo.

Trisha ,hello my trishlicious xD  you sent me lots of smurfy song yesterday,but I want you to sing :3 the way you cheer up a people is funny...hehe..I didn't laugh yesterday :3 sorry la..I reply you slow..and thanks ^^

At last I listen to Wilson...he said he understands boys the most,he knew what Jeff thinks ,because he is like Jeff. ..errr...I've got nothing to say about this. ..I was shocked when I receive your message,you asked me what happened,and without asking me need help or not ,you went to chat with Jeff :3 everything has settled down with your help . You asked me not to say break up when I face problem,because this is like a coward. .this is true ..I will not do that again.

For Jeff,I am sorry. ..but I don't want a relationship that how me and egg used to be like anymore....finally I knew what is your reason...my fault la..i will try to understand you next time...sorry for hurting once again

First of June started with a happy mood ^^

Btw,mummy is going sunway with her friends. .haiz..I can't go ahma house dyy :( and I am not going to tuition tmr...so ker ryn ,don't need to find me in fruity dyy..mummy is busy and my cousin went to muar...transport problem again :3 I wanna drive on my own arhhh!!!

Bye :p Jeff went to badminton dyy ~~

June

The end of may started with I broke up with Jeff. Wilson said I made decision too quickly. ..I agreed half.

I am crying. ..very sadly...and I sang so loud in my room. ..tq for my annoying sister who sing with me and make me happy

I quickly wash my face before my parents come to my room,I was safe..

June,be good to me..night

Saturday

I woke at 10.00 am today. ..and I went down to find food without bathing.Oh,it's potato chips ♥.♥I ate the whole can of potato chips for my breakfast.

After bathing,I feel stomach ache all of the sudden. ..it's like dying. ..and you guys know what is it la xD I am suffering till 6 o'clock. ..4 hours of stomach ache, I survived after that xD

Went to wechat and check if there is any message...0 message. .hmm..nvm la,I don't care...hehe ,we didn't chat for hours dyy ,and you're the second ekvi now ^^I will give you one last chance,if I still haven't receive any message from you,sorry,we end here :)

You can say I break all my promises,but I don't wanna have a relationship like this anymore. .after going through once ,I hate this kind of relationship.

I blocked you at wechat xD I don't wanna see our old conversation anymore. .

Kay la,bye

Mid term result

Bm -64
Phy-65
Math-85
Add math-76

:( to be continue...

First day of holiday

My holiday started with 4 hours of chemistry tuition:33 but I don't feel any sleepiness because I slept at 10.20pm last night. ..my parents feel weird of me..I never sleep that early when I started to go secondary school. ..but they were happy that I sleep early. ..luckily they didn't ask me why I changed.

Morning I ate breakfast with my friends. ..we were happy chatting,I love eating breakfast outside with friends. .after tuition,we went to fruity for lunch too. ..^^

I slept again for 4 hours in the afternoon. .I am tired..don't know why..maybe I need to see a doctor.

Ok la,this is for my holiday

1500

Yay !! It is holiday now !! Woohoo ,I just finish watching Master Sun..the ending was so sweet. ..actually,I wish I can see ghost too...I can tell them my secrets,and they will keep them for me...

The sad part is,my result wasn't good for mid term...only physics is improved. ..puan aminah isn't fair...she doesn't like me I know,but I don't know why...why that when me and adrian making noise,she only scolded me ? Fine lo,I don't care. .I don't wish that any teacher will like me too...I love my primary school teachers,very much...they love me so much,they love to call me big eyes because in primary school,most of the Chinese have very small eyes,I looked special in that school. .they cared about me and they are all fair and square,unlike secondary school teacher. .I was regretted that I had made a wrong decision. .I should choose Hin Hua High School from the start.Chinese teacher are good..I hate those racist malay teacher that once asked us to balik China ,I hate those teacher that won't greet us back when we greet them,I hate those teacher who scold me when I did nothing wrong .

Ker Ryn likes puan yap a lot..for me,I don't...for me la,I think puan yap is little unfair too . When me and jo ying turn to the back and ask pei ting something,she only scolded me..she shouted my name and asked if I am too free ?What the hell,I am turning behind just to do correction. .I feel bosong and this make me hate smk bu more.

Kawaii mama has asked me a very weird question today..he said "zhi ern,I wanna ask you something for very long dyy "
Then I asked "what?"
He said "if your friend that u know suddenly propose to you,what is your reaction?"
I told him I will be shocked and then continue be friends with that guy..but if I like him too,I will accept his proposal.
He told me that he has his crush in form three,not form one..hmmm..but I still think that his crush is Yuke Hui? or Ker Ryn ?

I don't really feel happy in school today ,in this school,the only friend that I have is Ker ryn,no one else..But for ker ryn ,she has many friends ,sometimes I will be jealous when I see her with someone else..but everyone has their own friends right ?I will get use to that .

I typed this blog for 18 mins /.\ okay,typing blog is a way to make time flow faster...I can't sleep now because I wanna sleep at 10.30 pm today ..bye

1810

Ok la,I really have no mood now

See you replying other group but not my message,maybe I just mean nothing to you. .I don't mean to make u upset or what,I'm sorry to say this ...maybe I have no mood so I think like that..sorry. .I just want to pour everything out from my heart. .I know u are thinking that,if u are going to kem desafio ,u can share the happiness of winning with them...I'm sorry,I can't help you to go kem desafio :c

By the way ,jeff is back,haha...kay kay..enjoy watching Thomas cup la..

All social network is off now,see u guys tmr

Red velvet cake recipe

Red Velvet Cupcakes Recipe | Georgetown Cupcake |…: http://youtu.be/dJFVEWwtr7g

2255 blog

Mid term is finally over ! I haven't sleep nicely this 3 weeks. ..this is call study at the eleventh hour ,so tiring!I will start to study every night after the mid year holiday ! Fight for final exam...actually be with jeff is something good ,he motivates to study hard ,suddenly wanna stay at berlian after listening to my cousin sis ,berlian has all the best teachers among every classes..but berlian is stress and competitive ! I didn't do well for every subject ,there's too much thing to study ,so burning the midnight oil actually doesn't help at all .

Actually I have a good papa ,whenever he see me study ,he will say "don't study la ,give yourself so much stress for what ,no fail then okay dyy "..haha...compared to other parents,they will force their kid to study. .so actually I am very lucky :) but my mama wants me to get many A's as all my cousins from my mother side score all A and get scholarships to overseas studies.

Thanks mummy for this three weeks. You knew that I am studying hard for my exam ,and so u help me to do half of the household chores. .haha ,this make me feel touched ..this morning ,when sis told u her uniform wasn't iron ,I thought u will scold me when I told u I have no time ,but you replied me with "why didn't tell me,I will help u do ma" ..haha,this let me have a happy mood for the starting of the day..

After school,I am so tired that I couldn't wait for jeff ,whenever I am tired,I will be in bad mood ,I don't want to treat jeff with my bad mood look ,and so I went down first.

I saw ker ryn's blog ,many things happened to her after her maid left ..she have to do all the household chores alone ,and her bro who is so free everyday doesn't want to help her .I understand her situation as I have a sister like that too..only know how to mess up the house ,and left everything for me to do .But I am lucky that my dad and mum given me permission to scold my sister if she doesn't want to help me.

Mop the floor twice a day ?seriously ?! In my house,we only mop the floor once a week ,u know ,mopping is a tiring work ,and mopping once a week ,my house is already very clean. sorry ker ryn ,I can't help u with this ,what I can do is only listen to you ,hope I can be ur neighbour so that we can take turn to mop your house floor ,and u will have time to study :(

My mum seldom let me to mop floor as she knows the floor will be dirtier after I mop xD and she don't want my hand to be rough too..haha,so she did all the mopping job herself...

Ker ryn ,I am sorry that I can't stay back to accompany you everytime you stay back...being alone that feeling isn't nice. ..I am alone for 4 years ,hahaha ,I don't know how I survive till today ^^ but I cry everyday in that four years ,no one realise I'm crying ,even my family. .I told mum I have no friends ,she said u don't need to have friends,ur mummy when young time don't have any friends de ,friends will betray you , using you to get something ..ya ,I experienced all this ...

I don't believe in friends until I met ker ryn ,remember when form one ,she kicked my chair :3 so noisy xD and then soon we became best friends,till now. ..

Ok la,this post is too long ,will continue in my next post

#0106

Hmmm,ok ,so I'm here in the middle of the night. I force myself to sleep at 10 pm and I slept but now I am awake .

When I awake ,first thing I check is wechat. Wow,so many messages ,and two of them is from you.Do you know why I sleep ?because I have no mood at all ,I feel very sad. But the thing I sad isn't important thing for you guys..hahaha

Pei Ting posted many things ,and I guess she is saying me...she was happy when I told her I will try to ask my parent's permission,she hope for a yes,but I disappointed her .I feel bad of myself. .why that I can't make ppl happy .She need me so much,but what had I done ?

Second,my mummy has been weird this few days .hahahah ,she scolded me for no reason. Just now ,she called my name.And then I asked her anything?she just keep silent .And then she called my sister,"zi xin,come to my room ,I need help ,ur sis now very selfish ,she don't want to help me " .hey mum,I asked you if you need anything ,and you just gave me silent ,WHAT DO YOU WANT ?u said that zi xin will come to you even though she is with a unwilling heart . That's different! Because you added come to my room and need help after you calling her name ! When u call me ,u just tell me nothing ! And I am studying,u r so lazy that you let me do all the household. Didn't you know that I am having mid term ?! You just call me to do this do that ,I need to have my time too ! You keep playing games with ipad ,and left tonnes of household chores for me ,I am tired ,seriously tired. At least when I asked you anything,you should reply me you need help ! You said that when I call your name that means I want you to come to my room,what stupid reason is this ? so that means next time when I call you you must come to my room la ?

Third,Wilson has problem again . He didn't want to tell me..hahaha hahaha Ok,I am so disappointed of myself. No ppl willing to tell me their problem ,fail to be a listener. So I don't have to be you guy's friend anymore ,I am just useless for you guys.

Ok la,ker ryn ,hope you be okay .Goodbye.

Happy teacher's day

As usual,no one will attend this boring event .Luckily I got friends in prefect board ,this make me happy xD

In the morning,I go inside the school using the small gate ,and then I met kai chen ,he talk to me that no one attend the school ,and out of the sudden ,kent purposely walk in between me and kai chen and don't let us talk..haha

Then I walk away ,kent shout from behind,why you no ask my koko to come de ?I just smile and reply ,let jeff sleep xD

Kent and jacklyn is really sweet xD they come to school is just to see each other xD today prefect board got jualan ,and then we sell roses and chocolates with bear. I asked kent to buy one for jacklyn and he said don't want la ,those chocolates so cheap and not nice to eat xD and then kent took all the roses and give jacklyn. .haha..but at last he put them back as he is just playing xD

Jacklyn keep asking me for a selfie but I tell her nope:3  I am so ugly ,no way for selfie!! Then her friend say this is your future大嫂 ..haha

Kent said jeff don't wanna share the candies I gave him with his family ,he said that jeff says "ern give me de ,cannot give u all eat " hahaha...so touched T.T jeff arh ,share to ur family la ,I will give u new one xD

I talked a lot with kent and his gf today ,it is actually fun xD they r so sweet omg xD

Btw ,kar wai kisses ze yuan too xD

Ok,I am happy today,happy teacher's day xD

Macadamia nuts

Macadamia nuts is too yummy !! But it is expensive :c one day I'm gonna travel to Australia myself and buy more than 10 packets of macadamia nuts back !! And eat them by myself xD ahahaha

Btw ,my physics was awful :3 hahaha..essay part..I think I only get one mark for essay part :3 nvm..hope to get a C .

God bless me .

Nightmare

I cry to sleep again while chatting with jeff...I am enough of this life...I want to sleep normally with a smiley on my face,not tears

U said tht everything is a misunderstanding,u didn't meant to post all those stuff to hurt me ...so,what is your purpose when u posting them ?isn't that u wanna tell me smtg through those post ?and I get all ur meaning clearly. .crystal clear ...

All u want to is be with me ? Nooo,u gave up ...you let go our relationship ...with the pinky promise that u won't leave me,at last ,you did ...I am the only one who hold on to our pinky promises,I believe that u will never break all those pinky promises. ..and I won't believe in pinky promise anymore. ..not again...

This is the third time my heart was torn apart. ..and this time,it is more painful than last time that iwan betrayed me...I am shocked that I have fall so deep that I can't imagine...

I don't know who am I to you ,maybe I am just someone who will only bring u sadness,miserable life that makes u have to let go of ur happiness...

U feel happy and bless when u see me ?I don't think so...I never see any smiley face from u when u see me ,all I see is just a "no mood" face ...

Chicken listed me as na xie ren..oh...since u doesn't like me,then why r u supporting jeff from the start? And why r you complaining to me that jeff bully you?

After school,I saw jeff walking down from stairs,and I squad down and hide beside a car !! What am I doing this ?why am I hiding ? Let me tell you,I hide because I don't want to let you see me ,when u see me,u will feel sad agn right ?

U told Wilson we nvr break up ,but for me..when u changed ur wechat name,when u posted all those stuff at moment. .for me..all these considered as a sign of breaking up...Hehehe. .anyway. .I still won't give up on our relationship. ...

I will forgive everything that you did to me,but it isn't easy for me to recover..maybe I will used up one year....

I was sleeping soundly and then I suddenly remember of u gave up on me ! I awake and insomnia now...

I'm gonna end here ...the nightmare that u gave me these few days ,will forever remembered by me ...

Vampire's diary

I am back from school one hour ago..ok let me talk about smth sad that happened on me..

For the past two days ,I cried to sleep ...it is because of you ,YOU !!!

U have changed to be someone that I feel strange when u are together with me ...I am not someone that u can don't bother when u don't feel like chatting ,and find me when u feel boring. .I am a human!  U only find me on 10.30 pm ++ every night with the msg "goodnight,love u "

I don't know what should I reply. ..the changes inside you,makes me feel u will leave one day ,u make me feel u r tired of me...and then the next day is koko ,I am struggling the whole night ,I don't know should I stay back and eat with you,I don't know how to face you ,and then here I cry agn

Ker ryn,I am sorry for not bothering u in school,I don't wanna cry in school anymore,I should learn to hold back my tears ,but when I see u ,I can never act strong...

I kept talking to min rui about basketball boys all those stuff,and talked with kawaii mama,and then finally,I am success to tahan my tears till recess time ...I cried again when duty time,standing at the stairs...

After school,me,ryn ,chen and jeff went to ker ryn's home because she forgot to off her charger..ker ryn's wanted me to talk with jeff because he is alone. .I talked. ..but you just replied me oh ,huh ...I just got ntg to talk to you,did u know how suffer am I when I trying to smile to you ,speak to you ? I kept thinking tht zeyuan fell on the floor,only this makes me continue laughing. ..

When grace tay class,although I am extremely exhausted,but I am still awake because whenever I think abt what u did to me ,my heart is like knife cutting me here and there ,painful

U once post a status "ur happiness is not because u r happy ,it is because I let go of my happiness to make u happy " ...izit ? Yuan lai everytime when u r with me,u never feel happy ...sorry for bringing u a miserable life ,I know I am useless ,so ,u r sad for three months dyy ?

Ok,I'm only going to post till here...I am crying agn,It's time to have bath and cry inside,bye :)

26/4/14

Ok,today is Sunday actually~but I just want to post about my yesterday xD
I woke at 11 am because jeff woke me up ..I lie on my bed chat with him for a while..then when I see the clock,oh gosh..it is going to be 12 !! And I haven't bath :3 I got tuition at 1 pm ...so ..I end up bringing my phone to the bathroom and chat with jeff inside there xD

I got 5 hours of add math revision class !! And I think tht would be fun as I love study with teacher. .at home,I can't study a single things without teacher watching me :c so I love tuition a lot !! And I learned lots of things because I've forget everything actually xD

During the 25 mins break,me ,ryn,jeff and jie chen went to le chat for a break. ..I ordered passion fruit lemon drinks..and I think the taste is just nice..but I don't know why ker ryn said it was too sweet :3 whenever I ate something sour,she will say sweet,when I eat smtg sweet,she will say bitter /.\

Alright,I'm gonna end here..buh bye

Mixed feeling day

Today is the second day tht you didn't attend the school. .ppl asked me do you miss jeff ?seriously. .I actually missed him..so I sleep a lot so that I can forget abt him,just for a moment.

I am having fun with kawaii mama and ker ryn in the bio lab.we played with paper and glue and stick the paper on ppl's back...mama throw his rubbish to me,and he folded something and tell me tht is sperm..haha..wht a funny friend :) and vishnu drew smtg on tht sperm xD

I am so happy :) and for all this time,I get to know mama better..he is good actually :3 but I don't like him last year since he is the dai lou :(

I stayed back for koko !! We went to eat dimsum but I bring my maggie mee in..I need to save money :(  jie chen belanja chee cheong fun and fried ha gao ...xD me and ryn were both shy to eat tht xD so I belanja jie chen ice lolli and ker ryn belanja him cornetto xD

When I am waiting for my aunt in bus stop,jeff's car passed by..and I just woke up from my sleep so I gave him a black face look..when I reached home,I was going to tell jeff abt the funny things tht happened in school today..and he just got angry and jealous when he knew I chat with kawaii mama..is tht even wrong?:3  I don't think so actually. .kawaii mama is my friend!!

Ok..that's all..goodnight

Got caught :)

My relationship with jeff is finally knew by my parents. .ok,I know it's you who tell...but nvm..I won't revenge anything

My phone is confiscated by my mum for a day...my day without phone is like prisoner in a prison..I slept for the whole afternoon because I was too boring. .

Ok,and this is my update xD goodbye

16.15 pm

It is afternoon now..and I haven't bath ^^ I am on twitter and fb..I don't feel like touching my books :3 I don't usually study that early..but this year,when I am with jeff..he changed me :3 ok la jeff..I promised you,I will study later T.T

To ker ryn,I feel sorry that I can't help you...I know u want to help ur mum to buy the skin care product ,but they were all sold out...I am searching the product via google and click in many web pages. ..but I couldn't find anything:x

To be honest,today when I heard that the gang of boys took off jeff's shirt..and he is hugging the bag,I feel like running out of the class and cover him with my blazer. .I know it is very lebih as the gang of boys is just playing ..haha

Ok la..I think I'm gonna stop here. .study time !! Everyone gah yao!!

Happy Friday

When sivik lesson,headmistress of the school is having ppd meeting. .so our class has no teacher xD me and ryn went outside the class and ponteng for almost two period..we wanted to go zamrud..but I am sure that the ribena will diao us..so I don't want to go inside there..and then we stand outside see Wilson and chu patho dao so sweet xD Wilson followed everywhere the girl goes xD

And then ker ryn wants to go back to class in the last 10 mins...when we enter the class,teacher didn't say anything. .so we find kar wai tht gang to talk xD I have fun 'playing 'with kar wai by calling him mama xD he has potential to be a mum because he has curly hair..and I am glad that he said he sees jie chen as his best friend xD

I realised that kar wai always has the shy look :3 when I talk to him everytime. .he sure tou xiao xD and I feel that venissa like him xD kar wai is finally proceed to be a pengawas percubaan!! The prefect room will be fun if ze yuan karwai and vishnu inside...they sure will play inside there..so it is a happy case xD

Yesterday evening,when I was chatting with jeff half way,I didn't see him msg me anymore. .and I feel a little sad..so I went to fb,and I can't connect to fb or any social network. .then I thought there's some prob with the router and modem. .I on and off agn and agn but it doesn't work at all ...and I think that maybe my dad didn't pay money :3 ahaha... my dad called the service centre n they said the unifi is on maintenance until the next morning. .wtf..no Internet to use T.T  and jeff sms me..he tot his dad didn't pay so he can't on wifi..hahaha..why u have the same thought as mine ?:3  we chat through sms for very long time ..and i suddenly slept..guess it was because of my headache. ..until my phone keep vibrating. .I woke ...jeff sms me and ask if I was sleeping. .so we continue chat again until midnight. .and I slept agn...don't know why,I felt very very tired like I run out of battery..and even if I sleep,and wake up. .I still don't feel energetic. ..maybe there's smtg wrong with me

Suddenly think of kem desafio is coming soon. .and all my friends from bsmm is joining. ..and I will be alone for three days...three days without friend,how I will survive?I don't know. .especially without ryn and jeff

Ok..that's all xD damn unifi. .pls kindly give me a notice if u wanna do maintenance :3 please!!!

April fool

Today is april fool..and ya..it is very boring. .it's not like the past few years that people is fooling with me...maybe when we grow up, no one likes to play around anymore. ..

Today I jog around the school,but I can't last long. .my heart felt very very pain when I finish the first round. .maybe I can't run...so I rest aside..then min rui and ker ryn finish their second round. ..min rui too can't run anymore. .so we played badminton together. .I am happy that she doesn't mind that I have bad badminton playing skills..

After pj,my pj shirt is fully wet because I am sweating. .omg..it is so sticky that I feel like bath in the school. .and I feel smelly. ..but I am happy that many calories has burnt. .

During physics lesson , we play with water rocket..and it is quite fun..I wanna participate this competition. ..but after that is the time to do experiment. .don't know why,I felt that ker ryn is like smtg bosong me inside her...she haven't tell me the things she wanna tell yesterday. .so..I can't do anything without u telling me what I did...

My parents is still like last time,as strict as usual...I can't go anywhere I wanna go..so its not that I don't want to join all of you. .it is because I am afraid that my parents will scold me..and I know they are busy with their work and I keep asking for permission to hang out

My family is not as rich as all of you. ..I know my family situation actually :x when we're going to a trip,we save the money for very very long time...and when giving the tuition fees,I know my dad is feeling very pain because my tuition fees is about rm 400 for one month. .but he just don't tell..

Haiz. .why I want to be a pilot ?this is one of the reason..I can earn lots of money and then I can giv the money to my parents. .but this is just a dream..I can't go college like all of you,I can't go to overseas university. .my parents can't afford to send me because of the money problem...all my relative is very rich. .and most of them is the CEO of many companies. .so I am quite jealous of them..big house and grand car and they can buy whatever they want..I can't :3  my mum keep telling me that actually she doesn't have much money..mama,I am sorry,I can't help out anything. .

Ok la..that's all..I smile in school so happily. .but actually there's many problems inside me..I don't have anyone to tell...no,I can't find anyone to tell...

Maybe I will just like my mum in teenager time ,no friends ... mum always said friends aren't that important. .sometimes they r just using you,some of them even say ur bad behind u but treat u good in front of you. ..I think there is many around me,but I just don't realised. ..
Bye :)

Tiring school day ..zzz

Yesterday I can't sleep well because I am excited for the school day..!! I am always like that..the last day of my holiday always ended sleeping at midnight. ..yesterday night I gave my mum my phone. .so..my sleepless night wasn't because I am playing with my phone. .

So today when my dad wake me up..I continue sleeping till I realised I am going to be late!! Omg..I rushed and didn't spray my hair :3 and my hair is messy like bushes after school. .. xD

I sit back to my old place which is in front of niker..and she told me many things abt her Australian boyfriend. .I quite jealous actually as I once hope that I can have a ah mo lang boyfriend. .but now..I got Jeff. .I don't need other guys anymore. .Jeff very sayang me and this is the first time I truly feel the love from someone.. thanks for loving me so much xD

I realised that I have lots of homework undone..OmG...the homework is like a mountain. ..I am gonna burn the midnight oil and finish them ..but then,I sit back to my old place..I try to concentrate on teacher agn..and I learned many things. .I think I have made a very wrong decision for letting anusha to sit with miraah...but I couldn't chg back as I think miraah look down on me :x because usually when got any questions, she only ask the pro one like sonia or jun wei. ..but I must oso admit that  I am not good la xD

A sad news. ..my chemistry teacher is going to give birth to her baby...and tmr is her last day..I quite regret for not cherishing her in the past few months. .she is a good teacher actually but I just don't like that she always talk bad abt my class to zamrud...

After school,jie cong called me suddenly when I was walking with jeff..he gave me two wristbands and said that jeff buy it for me...then I told him to give jeff because I tot he is playing with jeff's things agn...then jeff gave the wristbands to me and said this is for u..I am wearing too..bwahaha..is this couple wristbands ? Jeff,next time don't waste ur money to buy things for me...use that money to buy more food for u to eat okay ?u r too thin :(

I went to tuition at 3.15 p.m. but my tuition starts at 5.45 p.m.... I have no where to go but fruity. .so I stay there for lunch and do my chemistry homework. .I used up one hour to do one exercise. .like seriously ?omg...I need to do more revision ed :3 and then about 5.10 p.m..ker ryn reached fruity to pei me..after a while..jeff reached. .and ker ryn walked away T.T so jeff keep teaching me how to do chemistry and explain but I keep asking him the same thing over and over agn...I think he wanted to vomit blood dy :x

I am so exhausted now but I still doing my sej paper 3 !!!!! What the hell...my eyes is so heavy :x and I didn't do my promise that I promised jeff -sleep at the same time with him ...sorry papa...:( if I didn't say tht I will sleep at the same time with u , u will probably wait me till I finish my homework. .and I feel xin tong that u can't sleep because of me xD so this is an angel lie :p xD goodnight world..gonna continue my homework now :)

Back

Here I am again...I can't find other places to write down my feelings anymore. ..diary? Nope..my parents will read..Twitter?nope...it is too public. ..blog is the best place among all...

Yesterday was my black friday,I made people sad ?! I think so...and my mum just simply angry at people with no reason..Lololololol. ..everyone is abnormal. ..

Today when I wake up,I find that today is black Saturday too. ..someone is being different like last time. ..and I realised that it is hard to find a best friend that will not fight forever. ..primary school I have one..I miss you zi shan...

Maybe it is because that we are growing up,slowy,we face many problems. ..I don't want to have problem...especially friendship problem. ..I didn't have friendship problem before I enter form two. ..

Ok la..that's all..hope everything will be fine..and I hope someone will tell me what is going on..I don't want any misunderstanding happens when I am in mcc mood ..this is not worth and it breaks a friendship :3

Blog

Blog,u have cause me many problems :3
Before I met you,I don't really have misunderstanding with my friends. ..
Guess it's time for me to uninstall you

This will be the last post. .bye blog..thanks for letting me express my feelings out...especially those happy memories. .

That's why I don't really like to tell people what I feel :3 nor..it causes many prob like this :l

Sorry for ruining your mood by the way..
Actually I don't feel there is any misunderstanding between us..maybe it's just we don't understand each other

Ok that's all..bye

A short update about 22/3/2014

I woke up earlier than the past Sunday...I am having sleepless night yesterday....

Yesterday morning,I purposely wake up at 10.30 am because I knew that this is the time u finish ur tuition ...if it wasn't you,I would probably sleep until 1 o'clock. ..ok..you are back,and then u sent me four selfie of you. .I was very happy because I love to collect ur pics...saving your picture becomes one of my hobby now... And then out of the sudden,u ask me what to buy for a girl's birthday. ..I was jealous. .ok..I think there is no boyfriend that will ask his girlfriend about this ..and then I am hurt deeply. .I started to ignore you. .and even if I reply u,I never put any emoticon anymore. ..

Okay. .I think at last you realised something is wrong with me ...you msg me and ask...sorry..I can't tell you what is going on...As the truth will hurts you? Ya,I think so ...so it is better to keep it as a secret. ..

I am not someone who will share my feelings with anyone ...and yes this is Gemini. ..so...I let you wait for my reply for the whole day but in the end I still tell you nothing :x I am sorry...when I can't sleep yesterday,I think a lot...I try to put myself in your situation. ..and then,buying someone a present is not wrong ~

I asked myself why am I jealous of all those small matter. .maybe I don't feel safe with you ....and I think it was iwan to cause me feel this way..when he betrayed me..I built up a wall to shut everyone out from me..I am alert of everyone who comes near me...when people tell me something ,I won't believe it 100% anymore. ..

I know you're not someone like iwan...but it need time for me to put down the past and let go ...I am sorry for what I have done to you. ..

Okay..that's what I can say...I am trying  to be someone who won't get jealous,as this is not good for we both..give me sometime to change :)

Hope this will let you feel better ~ sorry once again..

No title

Okay..I don't know why..I feel sad and I got a bad feelings. .something is going to happen

Yesterday,u sent me goodnight and I love you as usual...and I didn't reply because I feel really sad ..and I thought you're sleeping already. ..

So I went to sleep too..and until this morning. .I saw your wechat post...it's something sad..and you don't wanna tell me what happened. .this makes me more sad actually. ..

I hope...you'll tell me everything. ..the feeling when people's hiding smtg from you is sad...ok..that's all ...

After the three torturing day

Woohoo...I survive the exam !!! Exam ,you're dead! !! I am the winner !!!

Today after exam,jeff told me that he is going to boon ping's house and go to grace tay tuition with boon ping...then I thought he is bringing his phone too :3

After I reach home,I was waiting his msg. .and I didn't on my Facebook because I want to watch k drama. ..after watching, I went to fb to see abt the news of MH 370 , and then I have one msg !!! It is from jeff!!! I don't know how to describe that feeling, I am happy when I receive his msg,haha...this is the first time I feel so happy because of one's msg..and I miss him so much although I just met him and talk to him in school today. .izit love ?

Haha...I am just too happy. .bye bye xD

7/3/14

Today isn't a happy day ~

Things that makes me sad :
1)wei fong told me it's too late to join Adult Exam...lol..I wasted rm 26.50 ...such a big amount of money..zzz
2)everyone is having study group tmr and I couldn't join
3)kem desafio is around the corner ~while everyone is having fun,I am alone at home
4)the weird fan feelings is coming back to me agn !!!
5)I feel that I am the stupidest among all my friends. .they are studying all the time and I am the only one who is fooling around
6)when I greet my bm teacher good morning,she don't even give response. .lol...what the hell..I won't greet you anymore
7)feel like everyone hates me ..and this is true
8)miss 2 intan so much and started thinking if time would go back

Too many things happened today..I can't stand it anymore. ..maybe I would die one day because of all these !

Late night post

today I was totally in bad mood until evening. ..I was rushing my bm homework as I am lazy to do in the past few days. I feel something wrong with me but I couldn't tell what was that ...so I feel very annoying and I don't feel any happy when I see jeff...

My mum is backed from work to fetch me for my bm tuition. .she talked to me many things but I just gave her a short reply as I don't feel like talking. .after that,I told my mum that I wanted to take a short nap in the car ...she let me to ~ I sleep for 10 mins in the car and feel happy like before!!! Now I know what is wrong with me --- too tired

When I reached delta,there was so hot that I can't stand for it ...Ker Ryn found one room which is freezing cold and we went inside..There's a small little girl inside the room who is just 11 years old ...her name is unknown as she don't wants to tell xD

After that,jeff said that we can go to class now...Wei Vvy didn't book seats for me and Ker ryn to sit...she gave the seat to Ganesh...I don't know why,I feel that Wei Vvy is changing. .. So me and Ker ryn have to find new seats as we wanted to sit together. ..we found one place that can sit three peoples ...and ker ryn let me sit with a boy ...I looked in front and find other seats...TING! There's an empty seat beside Jeff xD Wei Hong wanted to sit with jeff but kena chase away by jeff as I wanted to sit there xD

Jeff let me copy his rumusan and say many thing. .but I was too busy with the rumusan xD Finally,Grace Tay entered the class,she said that the place I sat was the place she wants to put her stuff..so I moved away and jeff followed me...

Jeff taught me a lot of new words during the bina ayat session... my vocabulary of BM is badd...too bad..extremely bad...ZZZ I have to read dictionary more :3 Jeff kept looking at my book when I was writing. .haha ...don't know what is he doing. .but I feel happy..

The BM tuition comes to the end and we packed our bags to go home~~~yay !! But something happened :3 I was 'too tall' and my head knocked into a shelf...omg..it was awkward and jeff looked at me... the knock on my head doesn't feel pain xD

Jeff sms me when I am in the car...he asked me if my head is still pain. .haha..he said his heart is pain ..so touch TT he gave me a 'kiss' on my forehead. .although this is not real kiss,but I still feel blissful xD

My day ends with a happy ending xD I have to sleep now ..if not I will be no mood agn tmr :3 goodnight world, goodnight jeff..love you!

Indescribable day

Today is the second day I sit far apart from ker ryn :( how I hope I could sit with her but I can't change place anymore. ..so I was lonely sitting with sushimita as she only talks about study...But actually I get many benefits by sitting with sushimita because I managed to finish my homework. .but as you know..doing homework is something boring :(

Okay..let's talk about add math lesson...today ,the practical teacher is no more teaching my class because she gets lots of complain..so she apply for afternoon session teaching. .then our real add math teacher is back !!! Welcome back teacher,I have been waiting for this day for so long...luckily you are teaching us chapter one :)

When add math lesson,jeff and jie cong come to my class from the back door.Jeff put roses on my table and jie cong said tht it was made by jeff. .I was quite shocked because jeff remembered his promise :') he said that he will learn to make roses and give me one everyday.

All those roses made my day! But something pull my mood down agn...jeff said he won't be staying back for co - curricular because he has lots of stuff to do..it's ok jeff,u don't have to say sorry ...let me miss you for one day ba xD

And ker ryn is not replying my msg..haiz..Nvrmind la..

This is the last post for today,tonight when the clock strikes 10,I have to giv my phone to mum agn ...early goodnight wish...see you!

The first time

After school,we went to eat KFC for lunch..and then ker ryn took my phone away :( she wanted me to talk with jeff ...so.....bye bye phone :(

I keep smiling at jeff and don't know what to do..and he kept looking at me..oh gosh..it was awkward. .I am shy xD

Yc ,chicken,hen and yx left KFC and throw me and jeff alone...so..I also wanted to leave xD After walking out from KFC,jeff asked me if he can hold my hand..so I gave him my hand TT this was the first time I had ever hold hands with boy  :3 And...he hand is smaller than me xD

Today is a memorable day because jeff had gave me roses and hold my hand and I ate his saliva. .haha xD goodnight

A little surprise

I am not in good mood today after knowing someone is talking bad behind me ...but all those sad feeling was gone in add math lesson

I handed in my add math homework to teacher last week.Teacher gave them back to me and when I look inside the book,there's a small note written by teacher,she asked me not to get distracted by jeff because I have done many careless mistake,and she also wrote that jeff has written something about me..

My curiosity is too strong,so I wanted to know it so badly..but I have no guts to ask ...fortunately,I have a brave friend-Ryn.She begged teacher to tell us. ..Finally,teacher let us see jeff's little note book...everything he wrote is abt me..haha...

I feel a little happy inside my heart...I miss you,jeff.  I am sad that I still can't love you as much as you love me ,but I think one day I will love you as much as you love me..I am sorry :c

Something

Haiz...ker ryn,I actually saw your blog..why didn't you tell me that you're not feeling happy ?we are best buddies,you can lean on my shoulders ~
Hope that you'll be alright :x goodnight

Day filled with love

Ya,and this is a day filled with lots of love. ..It's my beloved Jeff birthday!! Happy birthday my Jeff xD I was actually waiting the time to reach 12 am...but I overslept till12.17am...I am sorry :(

I was preparing his birthday present these few days. .and whenever he asked me what am I doing. .I will reply him nonsense xD ok la,it's time to reveal the truth ..I am preparing your birthday present and card !! XD

I think that the card I made is not nice. .but Wilson told me that I was creative and romantic. .seriously?! I don't even feel that I am someone romantic :3  he said that there's no girl that do this kind of sweet things for him ...don't worry Wilson,you'll find one girl like that one day

Yesterday night ,I was chatting with jeff like crazy xD He said that he wants me to be his wife and his whole life partner. .aww.....I think you're crazy xD I will be bullying you all the time you know? And you said that you are willing to let me bully in your whole life. :3

Okay,I love you till the max now~ hope our love keeps going and bring love to others too ...muackkz. ..I didn't say goodnight to you today,so I am sad now:(
Goodnight Jeff and ker ryn.

Happy moment

Usually in every Friday and Saturday night,I will have a group video call with ker ryn,boon ping and jeff.But now everything has changed xD I am in a relationship with jeff now. ..so the four people video call become two people (me and jeff)♥♡

Every time I video call with jeff,I won't talk anything xD I just love to see him doing his thing ,he's so attractive ...haha

I begged him to sing for me every time I video call with him..and then finally,he sang for me this morning. .Awww. ..I will always play this audio record every second ...just love that too much xD

Everytime before we off the video call,we will say love you to each other..haha...I always she bu de to hang up because I will miss him after we off the video call. ..

Okay,that's enough xD I am not going to continue this post anymore as I am going to be crazy..hahaha. .buh -bye

FLASH BACK 19/2/14

19/2/14 is a HAPPY WEDNESDAY!! Why ?! It is because that day was the first time I went dating with my love xD

I stayed back for the latihan larian kota after school. Before the practice starts, there was an one hour break for students.Two days ago,jeff asked me to go out to eat with him..and I said yes .So, he waited me in my class and we walked down from the stairs together ...

The moment with him was awkward because I still can't get used to the dating...I was shy xD so we went down without talking.  After that,we put our bags outside the spbt room .I was waiting ker ryn to walk with me to the Mcd because I am scared to walk with jeff xD But ker ryn said she wanted to wait for adrian papa.....so....I don't know where my guts come from, I walked out from school with jeff.

When we reached Mcd,there was a sea of people ,so we wanted to chg restaurant. .Jeff suggested to go niko niko onigiri xD Lastly, we went to Shanmugga ...

In Shanmugga, jeff sit in front of me..and I don't dare to look at him xD We took pics because that naughty ker ryn wanted us to take a couple pic. After that,we ordered foods... Me and Jeff ate the same thing -roti telur and air bunga ..

The food there doesn't taste nice :3 And I didn't have appetite to eat but I still managed to finish the food . When it's time to pay money,Jeff paid for me..he is so bad that not letting me to pay :(  but he promised to let me pay next time xD
(It was rm9 and I will remember this forever :3 )
After eating,the whole gang wanted to go giant shopping because we don't wanna go co- curricular ...me and jeff left first as ker ryn wanted to wait for wei vvy ..

When we're in the giant,we passed by many restaurants and jeff keep asking me do you want to eat this that..haha...(I am not as tam chiak as they said la :(  ) Giant was boring so me and him decided to go back to school xD

We went to the school library and enjoying the air cond .. I slept in front of him and he was reading a bio reference book xD so hard working. ..but your girlfriend is lazy :p about 2.40 pm, he told me he wanted to chg shirt as he was wearing school uniform by that time. .I waited him in the library ...when he came back,he was wearing a yellow pj shirt. .I am happy to see him coming back agn ..

Then we went down to gather with all the students that join latihan larian kota.Ker ryn was still in the giant helping me to buy stuff xD haha..tq so much for helping me ..love you!

Wilson kept teaching jeff the skill to last long a relationship. .and jeff smile till so shy..so cute ♥♡

That day's latihan is to run outside the school but me and jeff were walking xD ker ryn and Wilson left me and jeff behind TT  We reached school agn abt 4.33 pm xD we are slow ..haha

That day was a happy day because it was my first date with my love. ..thanks jeff for letting me to feel loved !! Haha..love you so much! 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

I thought today will be a normal day with nothing special happen. ..but everything happen out of my expectation.

After history lesson is recess time! And I was preparing to chase the students to the canteen..when I want to go out from my class...yun chin's gang stand at the front and back door..and I saw jeff taking his bag to my class ..today, his bag is slightly bigger than usual ..suddenly,he took out four boxes of Ferrero Rocher that already tied with a purple ribbon..he gave that to me...I was shocked for some moment because I'd never received such a big surprise...My mind is all blank..I don't know what should I do,accept or reject? I look into his eyes and thinking lots of thing. .I feel like running away because I think I am shy xD I even forget to say thank you~ Sorry jeff xD

   I really have a happy valentines this year...haha..wish everyone in the world happy valentine's day and happy always ..just like me ^^